All Good Plans

Today I was one of 17 people to be laid off from my job at a non-profit agency in Denver. The way it was handled had everyone experiencing psychological torture for several hours, not knowing if we would be one of those to go as they made their way around to each unfortunate person's office.

The anticipation of not knowing was worse than any possible outcome. By the time they made their way to my office, when I saw them coming, I jokingly said, "Oh great, here comes the death squad." And I actually felt a tinge of relief because I wasn't wondering anymore. Either way, those who survived this round of layoffs and those of us whose positions were eliminated, have to face change and have a lot of work and uncertainty ahead of us. As I learn more about the organization's plans for workload and leadership (there are none), the worse it sounds for those still hanging on to their jobs.

Letting go of something is never easy. But sometimes we hold onto something too long, with a false sense of security, a false sense of commitment, until that thing that we think we need for our survival actually becomes toxic and unhealthy. The environment was becoming toxic and unhealthy before the announced layoffs, and it has become even more so for those who are left to figure out their place amongst the chaos.

For some reason, this is to be my year of letting go. My life looks nothing like it did a year ago today. I have survived major tragedies in the past and I will survive this. Not because on my own I'm made of rock, but because through this I'll grow closer to my God who is my rock. And because, even more powerful than the fear and worry, is a feeling of excitement and a sense that I'm being given an opportunity to launch my VA business full time. I don't have to squeeze in work on my website, marketing, interviews and client work on evenings and weekends after feeling drained from my J.O.B. My business and my clients can now have my full attention as I move closer to what I truly *want* to do.

On November 11, 2009 I wrote in a 30 Days of Thanks blog: "While I'm incredibly thankful to be earning a living and bringing in that steady income, there's also nothing wrong with working toward something better. My entrepreneurial spirit is ready to start partnering with my ideal clients to help move their businesses forward. And I'm looking forward to moving away from just a job, to something unlimited, and empowering; a business that utilizes my skills and stokes my passion. Eventually, I'll replace the J-O-B (that I am grateful for) with the business that I am meant to build and be oh so EVEN MORE grateful for."

While I thought at the time that I would transition into my business while keeping my full time income, God has His own perfect timing and I will rest in that. While I am "Here2Assist" my clients, God will be here to assist me. Sounds like a pretty good team.  :)

 

Tomorrow’s plans I do not know,

I only know this minute;

But He will say, “This is the way,

By faith now walk ye in it.” —Ryberg

Write your plans in pencil and let God have the eraser.