All Good Plans

Today I was one of 17 people to be laid off from my job at a non-profit agency in Denver. The way it was handled had everyone experiencing psychological torture for several hours, not knowing if we would be one of those to go as they made their way around to each unfortunate person's office.

The anticipation of not knowing was worse than any possible outcome. By the time they made their way to my office, when I saw them coming, I jokingly said, "Oh great, here comes the death squad." And I actually felt a tinge of relief because I wasn't wondering anymore. Either way, those who survived this round of layoffs and those of us whose positions were eliminated, have to face change and have a lot of work and uncertainty ahead of us. As I learn more about the organization's plans for workload and leadership (there are none), the worse it sounds for those still hanging on to their jobs.

Letting go of something is never easy. But sometimes we hold onto something too long, with a false sense of security, a false sense of commitment, until that thing that we think we need for our survival actually becomes toxic and unhealthy. The environment was becoming toxic and unhealthy before the announced layoffs, and it has become even more so for those who are left to figure out their place amongst the chaos.

For some reason, this is to be my year of letting go. My life looks nothing like it did a year ago today. I have survived major tragedies in the past and I will survive this. Not because on my own I'm made of rock, but because through this I'll grow closer to my God who is my rock. And because, even more powerful than the fear and worry, is a feeling of excitement and a sense that I'm being given an opportunity to launch my VA business full time. I don't have to squeeze in work on my website, marketing, interviews and client work on evenings and weekends after feeling drained from my J.O.B. My business and my clients can now have my full attention as I move closer to what I truly *want* to do.

On November 11, 2009 I wrote in a 30 Days of Thanks blog: "While I'm incredibly thankful to be earning a living and bringing in that steady income, there's also nothing wrong with working toward something better. My entrepreneurial spirit is ready to start partnering with my ideal clients to help move their businesses forward. And I'm looking forward to moving away from just a job, to something unlimited, and empowering; a business that utilizes my skills and stokes my passion. Eventually, I'll replace the J-O-B (that I am grateful for) with the business that I am meant to build and be oh so EVEN MORE grateful for."

While I thought at the time that I would transition into my business while keeping my full time income, God has His own perfect timing and I will rest in that. While I am "Here2Assist" my clients, God will be here to assist me. Sounds like a pretty good team.  :)

 

Tomorrow’s plans I do not know,

I only know this minute;

But He will say, “This is the way,

By faith now walk ye in it.” —Ryberg

Write your plans in pencil and let God have the eraser.

30 Days of Thanks - Day 8

Today I am thankful for ...

Learning and tinkering:

- I figured out how to replace my blogger template with this new template page that I like so much more! This look reflects my style more than the cookie-cutter option that I was originally using. If you are reading this feed in Facebook, come see my actual blog at http://here2assist.blogspot.com/.

- I also figured out how to add the "30 Days of Thanks" logo to my blog sidebar. That was a first!

- I also figured out how to fix the date/time stamp tabs on the left that were showing up as "undefined."  Yah!

- And...if you scroll to the bottom of my blog, there is a photo stream of pictures from my Flickr page that I figured out how to insert. Whoot!

Special meaning behind simple things:

 - I made sure to include a couple of lotus blossom flowers in the Flickr photo stream because of what Stacy Brice once told me . I don't mind sharing that she said, once I trust someone, I open up like a lotus blossom. Those have become the type of words that I can wrap around myself like a warm blanket on a cold night. My quest is for people worthy of my trust. Once they find me, they will have acquired an admirable, solid, caring and loyal partner or friend.

- I also noticed that both of my business logos have butterflies in them. Scenic Sentiments (http://www.scenicsentiments.com/) and Here2Assist (website coming soon!) both incorporate butterflies. I think there's more significance here than I like butterflies. There's a transformation process and struggle in the cocoon before the butterfly emerges, and once that happens, butterflies are free. There's a beauty, gentleness and connectedness about them. There's definitely a strength about them, as they undergo the transformation process from caterpillar to the amazingly graceful winged creature that soon emerges.

In the Christian religion, the metamorphosis a butterfly undergoes is symbolic of the spiritual evolution all Christians go through. In ancient mythology, the butterfly stands for wisdom and everlasting knowledge. And in many other cultures, the butterfly seems to be identified with the human soul. I think the butterfly relates to Scenic Sentiments because it's about nature photography, which is a natural tie-in. As for the butterfly with Here2Assist, I think it subtly portrays that I will help your business go from crawling along to taking flight. :)