31 Days of Clearning: Day 3

Day 3:  My calendar

This morning I met a friend for coffee that has been walking with me through the heartbreaking journey of divorce.  She has been through her own tests these past few months, as she was diagnosed with breast cancer.  When we hugged "hello" and I asked about her treatments, she said this would be a celebratory cup of coffee since she just came from her last radiation treatment.  Wow.  I'm so glad I was present and showed up today since our meetings aren't just about me.  I find that I forget about what I'm going through when I step out to be present for a friend, and our meetings are about two lives and I'm so glad I could just be there with her.

The rest of my plans for the next couple of days, however, needed to be examined, and I let go of some plans. Today's clearning exercise was about clearing my calendar.  The past 2 1/2 weeks have been a whirlwind of jumping through hoops, paperwork, deadlines, appointments and phone calls. Between going to career continuation workshops, looking into the Colorado Workforce Center educational opportunities, filing for unemployment, redoing my divorce financials, filing an FSA claim, filing an HRA claim, looking into COBRA, getting scheduled for doctor appointments before health benefits expired, joining AssistU related teleconference calls, filling out coaching paperwork, scanning and emailing a company separation agreement and much, much more ... I decided that I needed to examine my priorities and decide what is best for both my rest and success right now.

I was to meet another friend from the Divorce Care group this afternoon and possibly drive to Falcon/Peyton Colorado (an hour and 1/2 drive each way) for another event on Saturday.  Each person and event is important to me, but the reality that I'm currently unemployed has hit hard.  Today, I needed to step back and let go of some 'wants' and some 'would love to do' commitments.  I had to say 'no' to one event and reschedule another.  And as other things come up, until my focused energy results in paying clients that will sustain me and truly launch my business, I might have to say 'no' to a lot of things or cancel well-intentioned plans.

While I need a break from reality once in awhile, and I need friendships and support groups, I also need to pull in the reins on my time and allocate it appropriately while my future is up in the air.

Today's clearning was about time management, admitting that I can't do it all, and letting go of some things that I wanted to do in favor of things that are must dos in order to realize my long-term dreams.

The learning in this letting go is that while family and friends should be given a priority, I can't operate out of guilt or obligation when planning my time.  If I'm spread too thin, I won't get my business off the ground and I won't be of much value as a friend if I reach the point of burn out. Most importantly, if I'm preaching balance to my clients, I'd better be setting the example.