"Every New Year we hope this will finally be the year that things will change. We make promises about the new person we're going to become, pledging to get a grip on our finances, get in shape, become a better parent, spouse, even a nicer human being! But there’s one problem: our resolutions seldom work. The busy pace of life gets the better of us, and suddenly, the year is over with little to no personal growth having occurred in our lives.
“My One Word” is an experiment designed to move you beyond the past and look ahead. The challenge is simple: lose the long list of changes you want to make this year and instead pick ONE WORD. This process provides clarity by taking all of your big plans for life change and narrowing them down into a single thing. One word focuses on your character and creates a vision for your future. So, we invite you to join us and pick one word in 2010." Click here to learn how to pick your word.
I took the challenge and I finally found my perfect One Word for this year. I had so many to choose from in this unsettled period of my life -- peace, healing, forgiveness, seeking, pursuit, hope, sustain. But God gave me my word this week. The word "Face" will help me focus my time and energy and filter my decisions this year.
Face:
1. To confront with complete awareness.
2. To overcome by confronting boldly or bravely.
I recently uncovered 5 years worth of lies and betrayal by my husband and have spent the past few months in shock and unbelievable emotional pain and turmoil. I wondered how I could have overlooked so many red flags, how I could not question or push for answers when something didn't seem right. Why I didn't trust my own instincts rather than hide behind the excuse of being a good Christian wife -- supportive and forgiving. I've never liked confrontation -- maybe I didn't look under the rocks or persist in digging for evidence because it was more comfortable not knowing. Well, now I know. I may only know just a fraction of what there is to know, but it's enough to tear a marriage apart and enough to completely turn my world upside down.
Now that I know, I must face the reality of what was really going on these past few years, face the reality that I was duped, face my grief, face my pain in order to do the hard work of healing, face all that is involved in going through a divorce, face an uncertain future, face that trust remains an issue, face my finances which have been left in shambles, face the agony of lost hope and a mended heart that has once again come completely unraveled -- completely undone, face the fact that people will hurt you, face the reality that love leaves you vulnerable, and face the disappointing reality that people lie and promises and commitments can be broken. I may have avoided wanting to know the truth because of the possibility of pain. But, I'm living in the pain anyway so I need to face the truth and face it sooner, even if I'm afraid or uncomfortable. I want this year to be the opposite of avoidance. I want to face my problems and not cower or run from them. I want to face my insecurities, instincts and gut feelings in order to find out if there really is a problem lurking behind the uncertainty.
There are a couple of other reasons that affirm for me that "Face" is my perfect One Word this year:
1. At my darkest moment, KLOVE played "What Faith Will Do" by Kutless. That song has lifted me up from the ashes several times when I've heard it. There's a line in the song that says "You gotta face the clouds to find the silver lining."
2. A favorite verse from the bible (Numbers 6:24-26 ) mentions God's face --
The LORD bless you and keep you;
the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you;
the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace.
This year “Face” will be my word filter. This year, I will face the clouds and find my silver lining.
To take this excericse a step further, the value words that describe other people that I want in my life, whether it be business relationships or friendships, are "transparent" and "committed".
