The Helpers

Friday's unspeakable tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut has resurfaced painful memories for me, but also stirred up some gratitude that I wanted to capture here.  I'm not writing about stricter gun laws, doing a better job of serving mental health issues or our culture of violence and crime in this post.  Instead, I'm thinking about the comfort quilt that was given to my daughter in June of 1993.

The date of my dad's birthday became the date that I mourned the loss of my other daughter, Lindsey.  From 6:30am until around 6:30pm my house was swirling with activity as my home was now a crime scene.  While investigators kept me from much of what was going on, I was concerned about my other daughter and how she was doing.  A Victim's Advocate was with her.  The Advocate kept her from the soon-ascending media in our front yard, took her to get something to eat, kept her away from cameras and traumatic details.  She also gave her a "comfort quilt."  This quilt stayed with her in the days and months to come and she still has it to this day.  Someone made that quilt and they have no idea where it ended up, just that a child would need it and it would find its way into the hands of the person it belonged to.  An Advocate made it a part of her process to take these quilts, stitched together with love, and give them to children affected by crime.  Something to hold onto in the moment and to serve as a reminder of love.  Something to hold onto many years later, when we need a reminder that there are good, loving, serving people in our world.

In the stream of social media posts since Friday's heartbreaking event, I've seen one comforting reminder from Mr. Rogers.

"When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers.  You will always find people who are helping.'  To this day, especially in times of "disaster," I remember my mother's words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers -- so many caring people in this world." 

We have good and kind people in this world.  To keep evil from taking root we must all reach out to and serve each other.  The helpers are healers.  The helpers are comforters.  They help us see the light which will always chase away the darkness.  The helpers leave memories that, like that comfort quilt, we carry with us for many years to come. 

If you have made a quilt or donated a teddy bear or shown up for a friend going through a crisis, please know that your quiet presence speaks volumes and does not go unnoticed.  Thank you, dear helpers.  Thank you.

An example of a comfort quilt